Day 7 - Nokia

After a late night (noisy neighbours, quietened only by intervention from reception), we were confronted with a packed breakfast room. Used to sharing this space with 2-4 other souls, we were now fighting almost 100 of them. Queues for juice and all the good food had been sourced by locusts in sports uniforms (and their parents). We escaped to a laundromat in the outskirts of Tampere. Now used to the cold, I only wore on jumper over my shirt.

Woefully unprepared to translate Finnish, we weren’t sure which machine was a dryer and which one wasn’t. We fed 6 euro into a washer only to cancel it and lose our money, panicked that it had started turning because that’s what a dryer does, right? 6 more euros restarted it. Then I discovered that we had free wifi and used that to translate signs, successfully locating the dryers. An elderly couple tried to help us, but they only knew Finnish. Nice people, though. They left when their rugs were washed, presumably to hang them up at home.

I chatted to my brother, Cazy, on my phone and then rang Mum. When I wasn’t conversing, I was reading a book or breaking a 50 euro note at the K-Market downstairs from the laundromat.

Our washing done, we left some euro poorer and discovered that, in our 90-minute absence, our room had already been cleaned! And all the crowds were checking out, including our irritating neighbours. Thank goodness!

We had lunch downstairs (using numbers instead of words to order), then raced off to see S and hopefully spot some squirrels. Alas, not many of those. So we played the Dresden Files game for ages, S and I reminisced about how we met on a Stargate fansite in 2005, and I set up the GoPro to catch squirrels (I don’t know if I caught any!). I was loathe to leave. I really enjoy my time with S. I only managed to drag myself away by deciding to see her tomorrow!

I did, in fact, capture a squirrel!

Back “home” via Hesberger (lol no way was I going back to Subway).

Day 4 - Hämeenlinna & Nokia

The day started for me at 4am (another early night, unfortunately) and I lay there, bored, hot and cold, until The Husband woke at 6am. I rang Mum who was keen to hear about yesterday. Then breakfast was sought (Nutella toast for me this time!) and I fetched S from the train station (she had taken the same 9:33am train).

With the band back together, we visited the car rental place and I prepared to drive on the WRONG side of the road! I nervously listened (well, half listened) to the staff member as he explained the features in our Lexus(!!), but soon enough it was time to venture out of Helsinki.

Sitting in the front left seat of the car, I veered too far to the right and nearly left my lane (didn’t quite failed that badly, though!). I felt that I should be lining myself up with the right side of the lane.

Things improved on the motorway when I could hit 120kmph. Gaining confidence, I managed to overtake without any drama or incident. I actually started to enjoy myself – until it came time to park at Häme Castle, known locally as Hämeen linna (not to confused with the town’s name, Hämeenlinna).

But I parked that Lexus, despite some uncertainty over where I should and even if I could. It is weird to look over my left shoulder when reversing.

Moaty McMoatyFace

The castle was a mishmash of red brick (18^th century) and large grey stones (13^th century). It bore some damage from when it was turned into a prison (19^th century). So, a castle that has been adapted as needed.

The 9-euro entry fee included a small booklet which turned me into a tour guide, as I was explaining the use of each room. We began at the Crown Bakery which had more ovens than it had ever needed for the soldiers stationed in the castle. The blackened walls spoke of much use – though none of the fireplaces were lit, the room was a warm, welcome reprieve from the biting cold outside (an admittedly okay 8°C, but alas that wind).

The Cannon Tower wasn’t as insulated, but the small holes in the walls didn’t allow in too much wind. There were many coat racks for large jackets everywhere inside. I loved this place; it was like a giant brick cylinder (holes aside), overlooking the earthworks and protecting the castle on the south side.

We left the Bailey Yard, which had its own wall, and entered the keep. Inside there was a medieval courtyard, but it was filled with a weird wooden hut that some men were building. A bizarre statue was to be found in one of the nearby rooms, seemingly part of the display currently under construction.

Even S had no idea what was going on. Happily, the rest of the first floor was not so strange.

The Well Yard was an enclosed room (it had not started that way) and the small Chapel had windows set into the thick wall. Over one window there were blackened wooden panels, evidence of a past fire. The back wall of the Chapel had been turned into a doorway to create easier access to the neighbouring storeroom (previously entered via the ceiling!). I liked the cosy Great Hall, where people ate, then slept on tables or the floor, as was the custom centuries ago.

This rings a bell

The second floor yielded more interesting rooms, such as the Scribe’s Chamber (which were accessed by a steep staircase) and the interior latrine opposite it – all intact medieval work so we were not allowed to touch it. The King’s Hall had vaulted ceilings and looked very fancy – apparently it was a typical medieval banquet hall.

In the Hall of Knights, The Husband amused himself with a fake crossbow and the accompanying video game – I suspect it was a Wii or Wii-like device.

We weren’t able to go upstairs, so we walked around outside and looked down on the courtyard. It is unfortunate that in the Russian era (when the castle was converted to a prison) parts of the original building were damaged. There was an outcry from the Finns at the time. I don’t blame them! This kind of thing really gets my goat.

We departed after spending money in the gift shop and attempting to enter a little café hut in the carpark that looked open (people were inside), but the door was locked! When we left the carpark, I accidentally turned onto a footpath and drove along that, frantically looking for the road. Thankfully, the kerb was very low so we managed to escape.

Lunch was had at a service centre, where I nearly reversed into a ditch while parking. But wait, there’s more! I managed to drive onto the wrong side of the road while leaving, but no one was nearby to witness it – or be endangered by my hilariously bad driving.

Wow, I was on a roll. A bad one.

We drove to the hotel, though the GPS insisted on adding 20 minutes to the journey – all while butchering every single local place name, causing S to laugh multiple times.

The place we booked into is rather dated, but it has the distinction of being the only hotel in Nokia. The hotel had spas and water sliders, the kind of place I’d have loved as a kid!

Then it was time to take S home. Her father welcomed us then stayed mostly out of sight, watching television. His English is not as good as S’s and he did not like the idea of speaking through his daughter. Fair call.

Seeing S’s room and house was fun. So different to what I’d pictured! I ran outside with my DSLR and telescopic lens to capture a squirrel. He did not appreciate the audience and scampered away along the squirrel highway in the trees.

Squirrelled away in a tree

S, The Husband and I shared a pot of tea. At last, my sister and I were able to have tea together. Bucket list item crossed off!

We talked for ages, then it was time to go. Drove to the hotel, had some lapses in driving, didn’t stop for a woman on a pedestrian crossing, hit the kerb…maybe I was just tired!

The hotel restaurant had roasted reindeer, so I tried that. Flavour is different from beef, but not gamey. Quite nice.

Day 7: Niagara Falls

Today we went to “The Falls”, as they are locally known. My fiancé and I enjoyed the hotel’s breakfast and at long last I was given what I deem to be excellent waffles. They were three small delights, topped with blueberries and strawberries. Whipped cream and sliced bananas ringed them. When smothered in maple syrup - heavenly.

I hurriedly wrote in my travel journal then we were being picked up in my fiancé’s friend’s car which jerked disconcertingly. We stopped by a Tim Hortons for our friends’ stomachs and I discovered the amazing menu. Real steeped tea!? Bakery goodness!? Apparently Tim Hortons is a Hamilton institution (78 in the greater area!) though it has since spread through Ontario and to worldwide locations.

The journey took under an hour. On the way we passed an abandoned motel and theme park - both looked very creepy. When we neared out destination, one of my fiancé’s friends joked about accidentally taking the left lane, which headed to the Rainbow Bridge crossing into America (“We’re close enough to throw a baseball over!” he’d said earlier). But happily he veered into the right lane, towards Niagara Falls.

What awaited us was a tourist town to rival those found on the English beachside. It was a 24/7 Royal Easter Show. After my fiancé’s friend made use of one of the many parking lots (it’s a huge business - you can pay between $8-30 to stow your car). We paid $10 to use a machine publish lot. You can’t trust the little lots which take your keys and move your car to make more room.

The temperature was heading for 33 degrees Celcius, the hottest day of the year. The sun was already hammering down at 10:30am but there was a glare, a haziness to the sky, that made it seem more oppressive as we walked down the road. I noticed multiple “haunted houses”, games arcades, a Ripleys Believe Or Not, Hard Rock Cafe, Tim Hortons, various food shops, a ferris wheel, two putt putt golf establishments and roads without any indication of when you should stop or walk. Vehicles were given right of way, much to my confusion.

We browsed a fudge shop before hitting an arcade (5 coins were given to us free, courtesy of a multipass that got you into several attractions). The usual suspects were present - alligator whack, Cyclone, The Lost World shooting game, car races, etc. It was fun, using the tokens, but I hoped we would soon go to the Falls, before the heat really set in.

My fiancé’s friends took us on a vacant path heading towards the “Canadian Falls” first, avoiding the busy crowded path that offered a view of the “American Falls”. The Falls are on different sides of the border. The strange Skylon Tower soared overhead, yellow lifts dodging up and down continually. A fat squirrel, so large it resembled a possum, was inspecting the grass for food. One of my fiancé’s friends bent down, pretending to offer food, and it made a beeline for her.

A well-fed specimen.

We crossed back over the road to take in the Canadian side. This required braving intersections without traffic lights, though they were people on duty juggling the pedestrian and vehicular traffic. The Horseshoe Falls (the more popular name for the Canadian Falls) were beautiful, underpinned by the roar of water. We were hit with a constant spray - a large mist was rising over the Falls, obscuring it and making my camera freak out as it tried to focus. I changed to the telescopic lens verrry carefully!

Focus this!

As we went closer, we countered an absurdly popular Tesla statue. My fiancé’s friends told us how Tesla put turbines under the Falls to provide a staggering amount of electricity. Quite an achievement, especially for those times!

Tesla being a little bit sassy.

After buying goodies (including Ice Wine chocolates - ice wine is a Canadian speciality and tends towards the taste of spirits; I found the chocolates quite sweet) we found ourselves closer still. Took an obligatory kissing selfie with my fiancé - the Falls are not quite as romantic as one thinks, but the photos you take are gorgeous, if you don’t get other tourists in them!!

The Horseshoe Falls

I noticed boats going right up to the Falls - people were getting drenched! Each side of the border sent a boat - red ponchos for Canada, blue for the US - the people filling the top deck revealed the boats’ origins.

We used a cliff railway to get up to a lunch area before walking down to ogle the American Falls - not as dramatic. The Canadian Falls are over a “corner”, providing better shots. Still, it was an awing sight. So too was the Rainbow Bridge. As we left the Falls, we overheard someone say loudly “I hate Niagara Falls in summer!” which we all thought was funny.

The American Falls

We used our multipass to enter a wax attraction full of badly mimicked actors. Miley Cyrus still had long hair and everyone looked very “off”. Brendar Fraser from The Mummy shared space with a dinosaur which was confusing/amusing.

Next, back to the arcade for a 6D (??) ride where you wear 3D glasses and your seat moves. We enjoyed this because the kids in the front row kept screaming. Then we went on a ghost ride which was like a rail haunted house, except you lasered small targets. After this we sat in the large ferris wheel (the air-con leaked in our pod) which had excellent views of both Falls and was beside a putt putt course which had an erupting volcano.

Lastly, after a Tim Hortons break, it was time for putt putt. This one was in a basement beneath fluorescent lighting. I abstained; it was fun to watch! The day had cleared by now but we were leaving.

We were driven back to Hamilton after dinner. I noticed that a lot of the houses we passed were tiny, but my fiancé’s friend told me that lot of them would have big basements. This is because in Canada the frost goes down four feet and if your foundations aren’t deeper, they can shift.

 “I guess if they go down four they figure they might as well dig eight and make a room,” my fiancé’s other friend said.

We were left to our own devices yet again.

Soooo tired.

Day 4: New York

Last night I discovered two things - 1) the cumulative effect of eating Hershey Kisses (the almond variant) is that they start to taste like vomit and 2) 3-4 hour naps in the middle of the day are not going to cure my jetlag! We suffered another early morning, though I hoped this meant it would be quiet enough for me to use the waffle iron.

Alas, no. Armies of Americans sequestered both irons, leaving me munching passive aggressively on my Philadelphia bagel (actually a nice combo) and wishing they’d let me try the breakfast treat. I then was glad, because the waffles they were walking away with were huge, covering entire plates.

A much cooler day awaited us - 81 degrees Fahrenheit. I was unsure the tank top from the previous day would be warm enough (we’ve all re-worn shirts on holidays, admit it!). As we walked to Central Park at 8am, the rain began as spiteful spitting before upgrading to a mild downpour which made me fear for the camera in the backpack. I begged my fiancé to find shelter so he guided me down into a subway walkway that smelled strong of pee.

Deciding a bit of rain would be alright and that Central Park was the only thing to do on such a day, we escaped Eau de Urine and headed for greenery. It was too early for horse drawn carriages (I was tempted by this on our first day when we saw them from the taxi, one that had chipped hooves had stumbled on the road beside us) and the rain meant that my fiancé had to field the raindrops from me - and the SLR - by expertly waving the umbrella around.

My sour mood evaporated when I saw squirrels. I was thankful I’d had the foresight to attach the telescopic lens to my camera. But these critters are so fast - I mainly caught squirrel-shaped blurs bounding over the grass but managed some passable shots. What amusing little things, always in a hurry, though I discovered that some will take the time to pose close to the fence for an adoring audience.

"SQUIRREL!"

Lawns are closed in Central Park until 9am and some areas are fenced off completely with nearby signs begging us to save American elms by not lunging at them. There are signs declaring the presence of English elms - I did not see much difference between them. We saw a handful of Central Park’s many arches and discovered a fair amount of bathrooms (though one had comically tiny doors that revealed head or knickers, depending if you were standing or sitting).

A fairytale in the heart of NYC.

The smell of horseshit was very fresh on some paths, but mostly we had a lovely time, finding an area devoted to chess, normal-sized and giant-sized, as well as the diary which used to serve fresh milk to children. We also passed carnival rides. Central Park seems designed for whimsy.

Near a fountain - the Angel of Waters statue, designed by a woman and featured in an episode of Forever (they found a body at the fountain). Here we encountered a guitarist singing over and over “it’s raining in New York” though by now it wasn’t. We spotted some tourists posing in fake yoga positions on the wall for a photo.

Not a bad place to find a body.

I chose to use the smaller lens to document the rest of the park. There were small areas to fish, including little lakeside shelters, but signs warned of the bright green algae blooms. I was quite taken by a park bench (a lot of them are dedicated to the living and dead) with a plaque that mentioned a name followed by “Will you marry me?”. I wondered out loud if she had said yes - my fiancé asserts it would have been taken down if she had said no.

We discovered, thanks to a map, that we weren’t even halfway through the incredibly long park - and I still needed to find Belvedere Castle, a folly dating from the 19th century and also seen in the TV movie Prince Charming.

I was soon to discover why characters in the movie were putting on a Shakespearian play. As we hunted around, we found the Shakespeare Gardens which were twisty and full of flowers. Then we happened upon a theatre that only presents Shakespeare. It had a lot of pink signs. A map promised the castle was nearby. After a detour where we discovered an ice cream vendor we liked the sound of, we managed to get to the castle (it is very hard to find anything by line of sight in the park!).

What folly.

The folly was small and quaint and boasted a gift shop as well as a tiny narrow staircase reminiscent of the one in Stirling’s Wallace Monument. But here there were mirrors on the corners to ascertain when it was safe to move down a level - this didn’t always work!

I was annoyed by the clusters of people populating my photos, but it was later in the day now so many people were in the park. I managed to get photos of us in the “turret”.

We headed back south, somehow taking a different path and lost track of the ice cream vendor. We really were not keen to explore further  and the castle had been my real desire, after all. In The Ramble, amidst its winding ways apparently favoured by those looking for a hook-up, we encountered an American who pulled out an earbud and asked, “Do you know where you are?”

“Sort of,” my fiancé replied.

The man then asked directions of us, for a road to the north-east. We were able to help him. He thanked us and left. Imagine that, Australians giving an American directions in New York City!

The only place in NYC where I didn't feel grumpy.

We made our way back to where we started. We began seeing many horse-drawn carriages crammed with families. The guides would point out the sides at some item of interest. We happened upon more squirrels, these ones more daring. A man stopped abruptly and said “SQUIRREL!”, just like the dog in the Pixar movie Up. He did this three more times much to my amusement.

We finally escaped the park and various rickshaw drivers who kept trying to take us for a ride - literally and figuratively! Some charged $3 a minute. We bypassed M&Ms World again then went back to the Cosmic Diner for Milkshakes Part II. I then hunted down a Butterfinger from a convenience store, having been craving one.

Back to the hotel room after lunch to relax. My fiancé has massaged my poor feet but I fear they will never stop throbbing!